1. Take better care of myself
2. Start writing stories again
3. Start singing again
4. Use my finances wisely
5. Become captivated by the Lord and let Him become my focus while I don’t worry about things.
6. Become the confident happy girl I was in the spring/summer of 2010 once again.
“Let’s go eat, I’m paying.”
So I’ve decided I want a man who loves the Lord with as much passion as Kristian Stanfill. Like seriously, watching him play at Passion City, it’s one of the most amazing things to watch. His face just glows with how much he loves to worship. Also Chris Tomlin’s guitarist has the exact same passion.
Lord please ready a man for me with that much passion or even more for You.
The only room for a man in my life right now is for Jesus Christ. My true Prince. His love is unconditional. His love is unfailing. His love is all I need.
All I want is things for be ok again, things to be happy again. I want the boy I fell in love with back, the one who would tell me that he’d love me forever and not to freak out about the future. The one who would tell me that we’re beating the odds and we can do this thing. The one who would randomly text me to tell me how much I meant to him. The would who as he cuddled me would talk about our future together. The one would tell me that he would never ever break up with me because I was the one. The one who told me the day he met me he told his friend he would marry me one day.
I’m done with this boy who tells me he doesn’t know anything. The boy who doesn’t think he’s in love with me anymore. The boy who gives other girls more attention then his girlfriend. The one who won’t tell me he misses me anymore. The one who I have awkward conversations with on our break cause we both want to be happy and be happy for eachother.
I want him to come back to me and tell me he didn’t know what he was thinking. That there is no other girl in the world for him and makes other girls jealous of the way he treats me not the other way around. The boy who would lift my head up, wipe my tears away, give me a cuddle and tell me to calm down and that everything is going to be ok with us.
Its not fair how he got me to love him so much when my first choice was I wasn’t even going to go down that road to him but I decided to trust God and life and love.
1. Your Real name: Lauren
2. Your detective name (Favorite color and favorite Animal):
Pink Cat
3. Your soap opera name (middle name and street you live on): Taylor Milford
4. Your Star wars name (first three letters of last name, first two of middle name, first two of first, last three of last): Hyltalaland
5. Superhero name (color of your shirt, first item to your immediate left): Red Phone
6. Goth name (Black and one of your pets): Black Scout
So true. I’ve never had to instruct myself to breathe before until yesterday. It’s the only way my stomach doesn’t feel like its caving in on itself.
I know this is a rough time, well try devastating time. Go ahead and cry, cry all your tears out so when you wake up in the morning you can’t see because your eyes are so puffy. But know that you are an incredibly strong and independent girl who is confident in herself. You hurt, you hurt so much but guess what pain fades away. Instead of becoming angry and more upset become empowered, be empowered in who you are and become determined to be the most amazing person you know. You have plenty of friends surrounding you, driving you forward into an amazing life. This is just the beginning, birthing pains, but you will grow beautifully. Use this time to delve into your relationship with your first love, Jesus Christ. He is there to bind up the wounds of the broken-hearted. Hand him those shattered pieces of your heart and he will stitch them back to perfect in no time, he’ll hold you in his arms and heal you. Then when the time is right he’ll hand you off to a guy who treats you with care just as he himself treats you. So go ahead and cry but when you wake up in the morning, wake up with a smile as you face the future as a confidant young woman ready to take on anything.
